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Tuesday January 17th, 2012  
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Girl About Town - Kimberley MasseyWell people, it’s officially 2012, and I’d like to start things off by letting you know that contrary to popular belief, the world isn’t going to end this year.
I know, this may come as a shock to some, especially those who have been preparing for Doomsday ever since religious sects, wing nuts, The - now inappropriately named - History Channel (what garbage you have become these past few years) and even Hollywood (through the film masterpiece and aptly named “2012”) began filling our heads with their apocalypse propaganda some two or three years ago.
Some of you may be planning to spend the next several months repenting, building bomb shelters and preparing for the end of days, but please, take a minute to allow a rational thought to pass through your fear-laden mind.
Theories about the end of the world have been around as long as there have been crazies to spout them, but the most recent string of swing-and-a-miss Armageddon predictions began in 1999, when the world was predicted to end - or at least we were promised wide-spread panic and pandemonium - when the clock struck 12 a.m. on January 1st, 2000, due to some bonehead(s) screwing up date coding on all the world’s computer systems.
Midnight came, and - surprise, surprise - chaos, anarchy and self-destructing appliances did not.
Y2K believers then pushed the big day forward to 2001, because apparently modern calendars were off by a year in relation to the birth of Christ, but again nothing happened.
Next up to bat was the belief that in May 2003, a rogue planet known as Planet X (or Nibiru) was going to collide with Earth, thus ending existence as we know it, which again did not happen.
Does anyone remember the Rapture which was supposed to take place last year? How did that work out?
Every time these prophecies fail to come true, those who propagate their inevitability quietly push back the deadline and start anew at making people believe the next one will stick.
So what makes 2012 so special? Well apparently, it’s because of the fact that the Ancient Mayan people’s Long Count Calendar ended on December 21st of this year.
 

But, since my UFA Farm Supply 2011 calendar ran out on December 31st, 2011, shouldn’t that have been the end of the world?
Of course not, because we all know that calendars end, and the Mayan calendar is no damn different.
Furthermore, despite the belief that the end of the world is so clearly upon us, those spouting its inevitability as gospel can’t quite seem to agree on exactly what catastrophic event will actually end life as we know it.
Planet X has again been identified as a prime suspect and predicted to slam into Earth, but NASA (who I think might be the experts on this, but I’m not sure) have completely debunked its existence, as well as debunking every other apocalypse assertion we have managed to come up with.
If Planet X was going to hit us in December, it would have to be close enough to our planet by now that we would be able to see it with the naked eye.
Don’t see any rogue planets dancing around up there with the stars? That’s because it’s not there.
Another theory is that Earth and the Sun will align with the centre of the Milky Way, causing some sort of discourse among all neighbouring planetary bodies and thus destroying the galaxy.
This belief continues to be one of the more popular, regardless of the fact that Earth and the Sun align with the centre of our galaxy every year and the world has failed to end thus far.
But back to the whole Mayan Calendar thing - the Mayans never predicted apocalypse, so those basing their beliefs on that of the Mayans should think again.
What I’m getting at here is that just because this apocalypse prediction has been backed by media, Hollywood and legions of crazy people, doesn’t give it any more validity than the other handful of times the world was supposed to end in the past dozen years.
No matter what “evidence” or “historical proof” the crazy person screaming at you on the street (or equivalent thereof) may have that “the end is nigh”, they’re still crazy, fear-mongering sensationalists.
So, in closing, never believe people when they tell you the world is going to end, because they’re probably wrong and even if they’re correct, there won’t be anyone around to say ‘I told you so’.
Love, Kimberley
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